Well hello friend and welcome to our eleventy-oneth episode! (Any Lord of the Rings fans out there? I gotta admit, it wasn’t till I put down my phone and really watched those movies with my kids that I developed a love for them…more on that in a min).
As Bilbo goes on to say at his eleventy-oneth birthday party, “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should…and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!”
Just kidding, kinda.
It’s true- I don’t know half of you as well as I should because the podcast download numbers have been DOUBLING lately so there are a lot of newbies around here…Praise God! That must mean you’re not only finding us, but that the message of Redeem Her Time is also deeply resonating with you…and when you leave a review and share this with others, more busy Christian women can find it.
If you’re new, I can’t wait to get to know you even better…so come on inside the free REDEEM Her Time Community and join the conversation!
And the second part about liking you half as well as you deserve…well, that’s just because God is the only one who can love us completely, no matter how much we DON’T deserve it, right? That’s why I am so thankful for the gift of His Son to allow us to be in right relationship with Him.
I still have God-bumps from Episode 110…so go back and listen to it if you haven’t already or need a reminder about whose Kingdom you’re building.
Cuz if we don’t get our hearts right with Him, no amount of Time Management, Habit and Routine Creating, Life Balance and Time blocking will matter. Can I get an Amen?
Before we dive into today’s very practical and tactical episode, go grab your phone…I know it’s not very far from you and may already be in your hand. Got it? Good. Look at it. It’s just an object, like the spoon you used to stir your coffee this morning. It’s what your heart makes it mean that changes things. So let me ask the question we addressed last time-
Is your phone a tool of destruction, of construction or of distraction?
No shame, no stories. No matter what it’s been used for up till now, every time you pick it up, you get to decide how you will use it…and whose Kingdom it will help you build.
And you also get to decide when you DON’T pick it up…and instead intentionally lay it down.
I’m just gonna put it out there- I turn 50 this year, so that means I’ve been through several iterations of phones in my lifetime.
Growing up, I remember having a phone that hung on the wall with a long coiled plastic cord and a chair next to it where I would sit if the person on the other end wanted to talk to me.
Funny story- my parents are very into antiques and found a really old wooden phone- you know, the type that doesn’t have numbers to dial, but just a big black mouthpiece and an earpiece attached with a cloth cord and an operator on the other end who connects the parties. Anyway, they hung it on the wall in our kitchen and put hinges on the front to allow it to open and then hung our house phone inside. You should have seen the look on people’s faces when it rang and they asked, “Does that phone really work?”
Anyway, that antique phone hung on the wall for years as a relic of the past, but we did eventually get a cordless phone. I remember the charger sat by my dad’s chair and needed to be returned to the base every time. Oh, the freedom to pull up that antennae and sit in another room or on the back porch for more privacy!
But still you could only talk on the phone close to home.
Then they came out with these bag phones you could take with you in the car…they weren’t small, but they did keep you from being at the mercy of finding a payphone when you were out and about.
And eventually, they got smaller and we started carrying them on our bodies everywhere we went.
I don’t know why I still can picture this so clearly, but I remember being at the movie rental store (remember those???) and listening to someone nearby discussing their movie options with someone at home. Why in the world could they not have talked about it before they left the house? Yes, I judged their need for a cell phone… And now I am that girl. Funny how we quickly assimilate to changes in technology.
Wait…one more story just came to mind…
I was in line at the grocery store several years ago and heard the guy behind me talking. I guess I was curious, so I turned my head to see who he was talking to…but there was no one else in line. He paused, saw the look on my face and pointed to the device in his ear. I remember he said, “I work for Motorola and we’re testing these hands-free devices. Pretty soon you’ll see them all over.”
And now years later, my airpods are never far out of reach!
All of that to say, we have way more access to connection than ever in history and it will only keep moving in that direction…maybe it’s time to be hands-free not because we have an earpiece or a smart watch…but because our phone is nowhere near us!
Sound amazing?
Today we’re gonna talk about 5 NO Phone Zones for better Time Management…cuz let’s be honest, we all know that the majority of what we do on our phones we used to get by just fine without a few years ago, right?
I’ve heard of people making their entire house a no-phone zone. Meaning when you, your hubby, your kids (or anyone else) enters the house, all phones go in a basket by the door or on the charging station on the counter.
In fact, one of my good friends does this with her teenagers who are still at home, requiring they put their phones on the charger station and plug them in when they come home. The funny part is that spot at the counter then becomes the place where her teens stand, sometimes laying their bodies on the counter in order to get access to their phone… and not violate the no-phone zone house rules!
I applaud you my friend, but I’m a bit more moderate in this area of no-phone-zones…perhaps because I don’t leave the house every day and my phone is often in my hand for growing my REDEEM Her Time business and resources.
Whether you’re strict or lax, here are 5 zones where EVERYONE should put down their phones…feel free to implement all 5 if you’re an overachiever like me or just start with 1.
And remember this- always start with you first. Guaranteed if you come at your teens (or hubby) with all 5 of these at once, they will rebel! Choose your battles wisely and determine which zone will make the biggest difference in your relationship.
Ready to take notes so you can do the homework?
- THE BEDROOM. I’m starting with this one, because this is a place that has a big impact not only on how your day ends, but also how it begins the next day. Why is it that you need a screen to follow you into a room that is intended for rest? I have the same rule around tvs in the bedroom too.
We all know that the experts say you should turn off screens about an hour before retiring for the night to allow your brain to recover from all the stimulation and reduce the blue light coming into your eyes that can keep you awake. Yet, too often, our phones follow us into the bedroom and stimulate our senses for a few more minutes or hours…and then we wonder why we can’t fall asleep!
Not to mention, when you’re in the comfort of your cozy bed, it’s easy to lose track of time and binge or scroll too late into the night…no doubt you’ll feel it the next morning when your alarm goes off!
Plus, not to get too personal, if you’re married, this is prime time to connect with your spouse emotionally, spiritually…physically, but if you’re both in your own worlds with your screens… ain’t no intimacy happening tonight! Girl, let’s change that!
And speaking of alarms, if you use your phone for your alarm clock, let me say two things…first, you better have really good self-discipline in the am to turn off your alarm and not pick up your phone before your morning refill (that’s part of the faith-based time blocking system I teach inside the The REDEEM Her Time Framework coming soon…are you ready to go deeper?). And here’s the other thing…they do still sell those things that are just alarm clocks on Amazon or at Walmart- I know, cuz I was just at the store helping an older friend from church test out the one that would work best for her.
When you don’t bring your phone in the bedroom, or at least not in your bed, you’ll get much better rest…and connection.
And may I quick circle back to my pet peeve about my hubby always having his ringer on? I do love him, but his guy friends seem to start conversations after 10 pm- that’s when I turn into a pumpkin and want my beauty sleep! LOL!
Keep the bedroom just for sleeping.
- THE TABLE. I don’t know about you, but mealtime is one of the only times that we are all in the same place at the same time, so I don’t want anything getting in the way. I grew up in a family where we ate meals together as a family twice a day. We even got up to have breakfast at 5:30 altogether before the first person had to leave for work or school…and bless my mom’s heart, she always cooked a hot breakfast. We only had cereal on Sundays before church. I will say that as a mom, once my kids got older and my hubby had to leave for work before 6, breakfast was on your own…but I always tried to be loitering in the kitchen area so I could connect with them.
The table in our kitchen these days is round, so we literally sit in a circle where we can look each person in the eye. I will not compromise that opportunity for anything, cuz those kids grow up fast and then leave the nest…and we have no guarantee of another day with any of our family or friends!
When the kids were home, we implemented a dinner time routine where we went around the table and each person shared their high and low for the day. It was a way to get everyone talking about what they had experienced and how it felt…and gave us a good opportunity to practice listening and serving one another.
I will say, we’re not legalistic- there ARE a few exceptions about phones at the table…
First, if one of our kids calls, we’ll answer and put them on speakerphone at the table with us. And just the other day I had listened to a great podcast episode on Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey about the He Gets Us commercial campaign that was aired on the Super Bowl and I really wanted my hubby to hear it so we could discuss it….so we listened to it together over dinner and used it as a way to spur on deeper thinking and conversation about our faith.
Even as I’m speaking, my son who’s home for a visit and my hubby are enjoying a friendly banter while listening to a youtube video about a shared common interest…I love that they are engaging, just wish it was a little quieter so I can focus.
Keep the table just for eating.
- THE CAR. If I’m by myself, I love to listen to a good podcast or some worship music… or just drive in silence or talk to the Lord. But if my kids or hubby or a friend are in the car, I want to take full advantage of the fact that I now have a captive audience for whatever time it takes to get to church, school, the store..wherever it is that we’re going.
I remember having mixed emotions as each of my kids got their driver’s licenses…sure I was glad they could now be more independent and I had one less taxi route to drive…but that was the problem- I no longer had that 15 or 20 min of car time that was just us where we could reconnect.
So if you still have kiddos at home- make your car a no-phone zone and actually talk to them!
Now, I might have been good about the shorter trips, but doubtless you’ve heard me confess before about the longer road trips where I missed out on the prime car time because of my phone or computer. In my mind, I was trying to get all my important stuff done so when we arrived I could be fully present (not that my reasoning was wrong)…but when I look back, what I thought was important in the moment, really wasn’t more important than the time connecting that I could never get back.
I vividly remember road trips with my own family in the back seat of our giant station wagon where my younger brother and I fought over who crossed the middle of the seat line, or in the very back seat that faced outward where we tried to get all the trucks to honk at us. We didn’t have devices that kept us in our own worlds inside a shared space- we put in a tape (yep, a good old cassette tape) and we all listened and sang along to the same music. And we actually looked out the window and played the ABC game or the license plate game and talked about the part of the country we were seeing. Ahh, those were the days, when we weren’t tempted to escape by anything other than a good book.
We never had a tv or video player built into our cars when our kids were little, but I remember many friends who did…and you know what? They turned it on every time they got in the car- whether it was just 5 min to the store or 5 hours to grandma’s or 5 days on vacation.
What precious time we miss out on when we have phones in the car.
Not to mention the statistics on how distracted drivers get with a phone nearby…no texting while driving! But did you know that just by talking on your phone you are 40% more distracted as a driver? I can’t substantiate that statistic right now, but I did hear that finding reported somewhere. But even if it’s only 10%, that’s still a safety issue.
I will make 1 exception in the car: Maps. I do really like the fact that a phone talks to my hubby instead of me having to watch for signs and unfold and refold that big, bulky atlas! Probably because I’m distracted by my phone.
Keep the car just for driving.
- THE DATE NIGHT/FAMILY NIGHT. This one should go without saying, but how many times have you been out to eat and seen the couple or family next to you all on their phones? Or at least some of them just waiting for an glimpse of their eyes to ask an important question. No bueno. Again, this is prime time to unplug to reconnect. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt that perhaps they were checking the movie times for after dinner, but most of the time, I’m guessing it was more mindless scrolling than anything. How do I know? Cuz I’ve been that girl too.
Date night or Family night is time set aside to be together…so BE TOGETHER. What message is it sending to your loved ones when you have your head down and are having conversations with others, or even strangers? Is that how you would want them to treat you if you really wanted the time together? Probably not.
So not only do unto others as you would have them do unto you…but do as Jesus would do- make time for the people around you.
But the first thing you need to do is to actually schedule the time, otherwise one week passes after the next and you just never seem to get around to it, right?
In the The REDEEM Her Time Framework (I personally think that title has a great ring, but I’d love to hear your feedback), we identify your TOP 8 using the 8 areas of attention. And one area is FAMILY. I highly recommend that blocking out time to be together be a weekly priority. And if you think you’re too busy for that, be careful cuz your family might not be there when you get around to them.
So whether it’s going out on the town or hanging out at home, first schedule it, then make it a no-phone zone so that way none of you miss out on the opportunity right in front of you to love one another more and more.
Keep date night and family night just for connecting.
And we’ve finally arrived at NO-phone zone #5…this might not be one you’d think of, so listen in and you’ll see how much it matters.
- The ONE THING TIME BLOCK. If you’ve been around here for any length of time, I’m sure you’ve heard me talk about the ONE Thing Concept- it’s from the book The ONE Thing by Gary Keller and it’s the book we just finished in our community Book Club. (Just a friendly reminder that our new book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer is one you definitely don’t want to miss!) So let me give you the Cliffs Notes of the book in 1 sentence (I know that dates me too cuz Cliffs Notes are not even a thing anymore,are they?)… ready to write this down?
What’s the 1 thing I can do such that by doing it everything else will be easier or unnecessary…or better?
You can ask that question in a broad sense looking at all 8 areas of attention and determining where your best time and attention should be focused…or you can ask it in a specific way looking at each of the 8 individually to determine what would make the biggest difference in that area. Either way, the key is to ask the question frequently in order to avoid wasting time on meaningless or less important things and focus it instead on what will truly matters to move you in the direction of your WITH-God life. If you recall, we went through this process for each area in Episode 98 when we worked on setting your WITH-God Priorities.
When you try to do everything, you get nothing done.
Now you may be thinking, “Lissa- I thought we were talking about no-phone zones…what does my ONE thing have to do with that?” I’m so glad you asked…
You have to protect your top priorities like a mama bear with her cubs.
Sure laziness can keep you from not identifying what matters and putting it on your calendar in one of your 5 daily time blocks, but you know what’s even worse? Scheduling it, but not setting boundaries, letting it get run over by everyone else’s priorities. That’s on you my friend.
To focus on your 1 Thing, you gotta remove all distractions.
And what have we been saying for a while now? Your phone is your #1 distraction. So if you’re gonna set aside 4 hours a day for your 1 Thing like Gary Keller recommends or even just 30 min (or anything in between), put your blinders on and give it your full focus. That’s how you build momentum and see results.
This may mean leaving your phone in another room. That’s a great idea, cuz even if your ringer is off, your phone still shakes, rattles and rolls with each notification. Ask me how many times I’ve been recording a podcast and you can hear my phone vibrating in the background? That’s why right now it’s not even in the room.
Or maybe you need your phone for your 1 Thing- that’s valid cuz I often do too. First, like we talked about on Ep 109, see if you can do your 1 Thing tasks on your computer instead- you’ll appreciate the larger screen anyway if you’re 50 like me. And if not, there’s a setting on your phone called Focus that you can use to do just that…FOCUS.
At least they gave us 1 application that helps us use our phone less…after giving us hundreds of thousands of apps that seek to distract us more and more!
Turn on focus, and try it out.
I will often message my hubby before I start a focused time block to check in to see if there’s anything he needs and let him know I’m going dark. By clearly communicating my boundaries to him, he won’t be surprised if I don’t respond right away. And in the off chance that there is a valid emergency, your phone will allow certain numbers to get through.
Now you can get to work and see real progress.
And it doesn’t matter if your 1 thing in that moment is spending time with God, hanging out with your family or friends, building your business or career, stewarding your finances, working on your wellness, pursuing your passions or organizing your dwelling…if it’s your 1 Thing, it matters.
Keep your 1 Thing just for focusing.
So there you have it- 5 No-Phone Zones you can start enforcing in your day (or night)…
- The BEDROOM
- The TABLE
- The CAR
- The DATE NIGHT/FAMILY NIGHT
- The ONE THING
Pick one to start with… today. And please share in the group, cuz I’d love to hear which one you choose.
Imagine how much more time you’ll have and how much more present you’ll be when you leave your phone behind more often.
I know it’s not easy when you’re so used to your phone being your go-to all day long…that’s why we’re doing the 40-Day REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge– we’re noticing when, where and why we use it and deciding how we want to use it well in light of eternity.
Come join the challenge inside the REDEEM Her Time Community and grab your free challenge guide and screen saver.
Let’s see what God wants to do in and through us in these NO-Phone Zones.
In fact, let’s pray and give this over to Him right now….
Dear LORD-
The struggle is real. We as women living in this technologically advanced and addictive society feel the tug on a daily basis to pick up our phone. Your word says we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us because of who You are, not who we are… and so we ask that you would strengthen us to resist the urge to fill our time with our phone and waste so many precious minutes and hours on what will not last. Give us eyes and hearts to see the people and opportunities you’ve placed right in front of us in which You are calling us to invest. And Lord, may you take away that desire for instant digital gratification so that we desire what our phones promise us less and less. We cannot wait to see what you will do as we lay down our phones and don’t pick them back up as often. To You be the glory- Amen.
Thanks for joining me for this episode and until next time, remember…
You DO have ALL the time you need to do ALL He has called you to.
Be available to who + what matters most in this season and in light of eternity…
Cuz you are here for Such a Time as This.
Binge the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge Series
Ep 105 No Time? The #1 Tip to Find 1-4 Hours in your Day for Better Time Management
Ep 106 Distracted by Your Phone? 2 Key Steps for Christian Women to Overcome Digital Distraction
Ep 107 Wish You Could Break-up with Your Phone? 3 Steps to Start Setting Healthy Screen-Time Boundaries
Ep 108 Don’t Live on Good Intentions. 4 Steps to Create a Personalized Phone-Time Plan to Prioritize What Matters
Ep 109 Wish your Phone wasn’t so Distracting? 5 Tips to Dumb-down your Smartphone to get more Time in your Day
Ep 110 3 Steps to Build the Kingdom of God with your Phone-Time as a Busy Christian Woman
Visit the REDEEM Her Time Website https://redeemhertime.com
> Join the REDEEM Her Time Community (did I mention it’s FREE?!)
> Get the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Guide + Screensaver
> Schedule a free 15 Min Strategy Session
>>> or DO ALL-THE-ABOVE!
P.S. And don’t forget to leave a review on Apple Podcasts to get your name in the drawing for $100 OFF the SHE is Present Coaching Program…coming soon!
