Hey friend…just wanna start by saying I’m so glad you’re here. Doesn’t it make all the difference to know that you are not alone…especially when you are going against the flow? I do. Cuz let’s be honest, most people know they probably should pay more attention to how much they use their phone and change their habits around what they do with it, but most will not take the time to stop and process through the things we’ve been talking about so far in the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge Series…and we technically haven’t even started yet.
If you’re with us in real time, our kickoff is Feb 22nd…and if you’re listening to this after the fact, lucky you- you can start TODAY!
So what all have we covered? In case you’ve just found us (or you need to hear things over and over for them to truly sink in, like yours truly) here’s a quick recap…
We looked back at noticing where we’re at with our phone and how our accessibility affects our availability to who + what matters on Episode 105.
Then we looked at the effects our phone-time habits have on our lives, both inside and out…and how the Enemy would love nothing more than to use it as a tool to distract us from the 2 main things we are called to- to love God and to love others on Episode 106.
Last time, on Episode 107 we talked about the 3 steps to “break up” with your phone to set healthy phone-time boundaries…you know- like when you had to break up with that guy you knew was not the best use of your time.
Now that you know the WHAT + WHY… we’re gonna add the HOW
But before we dive into that, let me just say that I get it- this process is HARD. The world and everyone around us is singing the praises of technology, but we’re looking at it from a different perspective as Christian women. And well we should.
If you’ve truly been redeemed, your life is not your own- especially your time…which includes your phone-time.
And that’s why we’re doing this Phone-time Challenge together…do I sound like a broken record, always encouraging you to come join us inside the free REDEEM Her Time Community? I only say it cuz I mean it. That’s where you’ll find like-minded women who are willing to ask the hard questions, dive into the truth… and do something with the answers! You can find the link to join on the community tab of redeemhertime.com.
We need each other as sisters in Christ.
As I think about cleaning up our phone-time, I keep coming back to a passage in Luke 11 that may not be super clear at first glance, but stick with me, cuz I’ll dig into the bigger context and tie it into what we’re talking about in regards to our phone-time. Trust me? Ok, here we go…
“When an unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, and finding none it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house swept and put in order. Then it goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there. And the last state of that person is worse than the first.” Luke 11:24-26
What? Unclean spirits, waterless places and a clean house occupied by demons…Lissa have you lost it? Ha- some days I wonder. But I couldn’t shake these few verses, so let’s see what God has for us in this before we dive into the 4 steps to do something about it.
First, let me be clear…I am NOT saying that our phone is of the devil and full of unclean spirits.
It’s OUR HEARTS that are the PROBLEM, not our PHONES.
Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us, “The heart is deceitful above all things…and desperately sick; who can understand it?”
Our hearts have a way of taking created things and twisting them to meet our fleshly needs and agenda. It’s our sinful nature that leads us to use our phones for things that are not of God. And like we talked about on Episode 106, the Enemy loves to take advantage of things like our phone to use as a tool of distraction.
As sinful humans we tend to sweep things up to make it look in order.
Ah, I too am guilty of this like the Pharisees. So often I want to put on my Sunday best and make it look on the outside like I have it all together and love Jesus perfectly, while on the inside, my heart is still full of sin and selfishness.
Jesus called them (and me…and probably you) hypocrites in Matthew 23:25! “For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”
We could just close our phones, put them aside for a while and say we’ve changed our ways…but have we really?
I’ve never noticed this before, until I did a little digging…the unclean spirit that left still identified the house as MY house, meaning he still had control and influence there, even when he was away. And although he was asked to leave and the housekeeper swept up the mess he left behind and put things in order, it was all surface change.
How do we know that? Because the same spirit was not only able to come back and fill it again, but also to bring 7 more of his kind with him! And notice they did not just stop in for a visit… they dwelled there (aka took up residence in that place). And what was the state of the house then? Worse than it was at the beginning.
Is it making sense now why I took us to this passage?
The only way to see lasting change with our phone-time is if we have true heart change.
In and of ourselves, heart change is impossible- why? Like we said earlier, because our hearts are sinful. But thanks be to God for His indescribable gift- He sent His Son to die for our sin and to open up the way to transformation. He is the only one who could clean up our hearts and change them forever. And His Spirit is the one I want to dwell in me, don’t you? Then we won’t have an empty space that only gets filled back up with what was there before…what we don’t want to come back. Something always fills that emptiness left behind. That’s why we need to be intentional about letting Him fill us, cuz otherwise something else will.
Time is a vacuum…it will always fill itself up with what is around it.
Know then that even as you make your personalized phone-time plan today…
It is only in light of the Grace of the Gospel that we can make any lasting change in our hearts.
Remember our conversation back on Episode 104? It’s Grace Over Grit. It’s not about us trying harder, although we do bear responsibility for our actions. It’s about allowing for His grace in our lives which overflows into our actions, including how and when we use our phone…and when we don’t.
He is the only one that can turn what we have twisted for evil into a tool for good.
So, that being said, let’s dive into the 4 steps to create a personalized phone-time plan to prioritize what matters…. And make lasting change.
(Note: This is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it is a universal process that applies to everyone. Each step will look different in application for each person, but the process still moves us all towards the same outcome- that our phone-time would help us love God and love others more and more.)
This 4-step process will go right along with the REDEEM Her Phone Time Challenge Guide so push pause to go grab yours or if you haven’t downloaded it yet, go quick join the group to get your copy…it will be time well spent. We’ll wait.
You ready? Let’s go…
STEP 1: ATTENTION. This is the noticing piece we’ve been doing- cuz you can’t change what you don’t recognize needs to change, right? Before you arbitrarily start setting goals around what you think you should do, let’s see where you actually are so you can determine your next best steps. Sound good?
Open up the guide to Part 1: What do you notice?
Here’s where you’ll record (yes, actually admit in writing) your average daily and weekly screen time and the top apps you are using. You’ll also record the first and last time you use your phone each day and approximately how many times you pick it up in a day. (I’ve included a phone audit worksheet so you can gather the facts about your current habits…it’s kinda like a food journal where you write down everything you eat and when. This chart has you record every time you use your phone and for what. That way you’ll not over or under-estimate your usage) So…What things are you doing with your phone currently? Remember no judgment, just pay attention.
We often underestimate how much time we give away to less important things.
Next it’s time to pay attention to something you may never have thought about (I certainly didn’t until recently). Are you ready for it?
How does your phone-time move you closer or further from loving God and loving others?
Again, grace over grit my friend. The goal is not guilt and shame, only awareness…because armed with knowledge, you can move to the next level of attention- what do I want to do about this?
Finally let’s get a big picture of what making changes looks like- what do you want your phone-time to look like 40 days from now? A year from now? What are 3 changes you want to make with your phone-time? Why are you doing this? This would also be a good time to work on your list of things you will do WITHOUT your phone that we started on the last episode..there’s a place to write those down in the challenge guide too.
PRO TIP: Use the 4Ds to simplify your phone-time…maybe you don’t need it as much as you think. What can you Delete, Delegate, Delay so you only do what Delights you..and the Lord?
Ok, now that we’ve given your phone-time some attention, it’s time to move on…
STEP 2: INTENTION. Now, with your stats, your why and some ideas in hand, it’s time to get into the nuts and bolts of what the next 40 days (and hopefully beyond) will look like for you. And like we’ve been saying all along, there’s no right or wrong, no better or worse, no competition or comparison. This is YOUR journey- but we are right beside you walking our own path too.
Open up the guide to Part 2: What is your Phone-Time Plan?
Based on what you wrote in Part 1, what DAILY Goals will you set? What WEEKLY Goals will you set? Those may be around the amount of time, the time of day or the actual apps and resources you use….or a combination of all-the-above. Be realistic, but reaching.
If you’re currently at 4 hours a day, probably don’t set a goal of 30 min. If you’re currently picking it up all times in the day, probably don’t make it just before bed. If you’re currently using multiple games or apps, probably don’t make it none.
Baby steps or progressively bigger steps, but not overwhelming steps that will cause you to throw up your hands in frustration and give up. Does that make sense? Take a min to write what those phone-time goals will be for you that will take you in the direction you want to go because…
You are creating your results every moment, whether you know it or not. Be careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise.
Next, let’s look at how your phone can be used to fulfill the commandments to love God and to love others. How will you use your phone to love God more? We’ll get more into some ideas over the next few weeks, so I’ve given you plenty of space to add more…for now, think of 2 or 3 things. Then do the same for how you will use your phone to love others more…and keep listening for more tips and ideas.
Lastly, set healthy boundaries around what you WILL DO on your phone over the next 40 days…and what you WON’T DO…by naming those things and putting them in writing. Again, God will continue to refine you as you work through this challenge, so these may change moving forward…and that’s a good thing. And when you’re just not sure you want to put in the work to change direction, remember…
The motivation for creating self-discipline with your phone-time is to know God and to love Him and others more.
STEP 3: IMPLEMENTATION. No more just saying you’re gonna change, now it’s time to put your plan into action. Keep in mind progression, not perfection, grace over grit. BUT…there will be times you slip up and out of habit reach for your phone at a time you said you weren’t going to. There will be times when you say, heck with it and rebel against your commitment cuz you just want to. There will be times when you grab it as a means of comfort thinking it will make you feel better. That’s ok. You’re ok. We’re all gonna be there in some way over this challenge too. Cuz 40 days is a long time. But I promise you…
What you will gain, is way beyond what you will leave behind.
No one ever got to the end of their life and said, “Gosh, I wish I had spent more time on my phone.” So we’re not gonna wait till then to realize that either.
Open up the guide to Week 1 Tracking.
You’ll notice there’s a chart for you to write your screen time, how you used your phone well and how you will improve each day. Sure, you can just click on that button in settings to look at a number, but by writing it and seeing what it looks like over time, you will better be able to see the overall place it has in your life. And by reflecting each day, it gives an opportunity to make slight tweaks before you get way off track with your goals.
You get the results you track.
It’s as simple as that. When you don’t track a habit you want to implement or change, it’s easy to lose sight of it and not see the results you want. So commit to tracking it. I’ve given you 6 weeks of tracking sheets so you have no excuse if you print out the guide. (Plus that gives you 2 bonus days cuz 6 x 7 = 42 days)
Change what you do and how you do it one day at a time.
The goal is that after 40 (or 42) days, you won’t have to track your phone-time daily because you will have created new habits and routines around how you use it. That’s freedom my friend!
At the end of each week, when you’re previewing your calendar for the following week, take a few extra minutes to look back at where you’ve been that past week and identify what worked well and what changes you will make moving forward…
Then turn the page and start tracking a new week.
And last, but not least in importance…
STEP 4: REFLECTION.
This is why making your goal to commit to the challenge time-based (like we talked about on Episode 96…remember STICK-y? If not, go back and review the 5 keys to create goals or intentions that actually STICK.).
We set milestones along the way so we have a place to stop to measure our progress and decide where we’re going next.
I often reference a road trip…you don’t just jump in the car and start driving without a plan, right? In the same way, even with a plan, you don’t just keep driving without stopping, true? You plan stops along the way to make sure you’re on the right track, fill up on what you need and check your plan moving forward.
The end of each week is a milemarker, but the end of the 40 days is when you pull over for a much needed rest stop.
We’re not there yet, but it’s always good to start with the end in min,
Open up your guide to Part 3: Redeem Her Phone-Time Reflection
It’s always good to pause to ask questions like- How did your phone habits change? How did your phone help you grow? How did your phone distract you? How did an eternal view help you? What do you want to continue? How will you be accountable?
Imagine where you want to be at the end… and start showing up like that today.
But here’s the thing- 40 days from Feb 22nd is NOT the end. My prayer is that it’s just the beginning. You will have created a new perspective as well as new actions or inactions that will help you fulfill your purpose to love God and love others more and more because of the changes you’ve made.
Prepare yourself now to not be like the homeowner whose house was empty when the spirit left and then came back with his buddies cuz he still owned it and it was still empty.
Give God control of your heart (and phone-time) and let Him fill the empty places in your heart.
Too often I have turned to my phone for validation that I am successful or for connection that I am needed or for an escape cuz I am overwhelmed. Those empty places in my heart, in your heart, can only be filled by Him. We all have a God-size hole that we try to fill with so many things in our life from the world around us, but He is the only one that is perfectly fitted for that space and once there, will never let go.
Don’t just CLEAN UP your phone-time, CLEAN OUT your phone-time…and fill it with what is better.
Well, now you know the 4 steps to create a personalized phone-time plan to prioritize what matters in your life…the question is, what are you going to do with it?
In case you missed it, may I make a recommendation? Join us for the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge.
It’s easy-
- Join the free REDEEM Her Time Community
- Download the free REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge Guide + Screensaver
- Pop into the daily conversations around our phone-time and how we want to change it.
Just go to redeemhertime.com/community to get started.
But before you do, may I pray for you?
Dear God,
Thank you that You have called us to be your daughters. Too often we are the Pharisees who clean up the outside of the cup and sweep away the dirt, but inside are still full of sin and allow what we tried to remove on our own back in. We confess that the problem is not our phone, it’s our hearts. And that You are the only one who can create true heart-change in us. We let go of anything we use to try to fill the emptiness inside us that only You can fill. And we invite you to dwell and be the owner of our hearts. And as you fill us, may your Grace overflow into the actions we take. Thank you for the work that you will do in and through us as we embark on this journey together. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Thanks for joining me for this episode and until next time, remember…
You DO have ALL the time you need to do ALL He has called you to.
Be available to who + what matters most in this season and in light of eternity…
Cuz you are here for Such a Time as This.
Binge the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge Series
Ep 105 No Time? The #1 Tip to Find 1-4 Hours in your Day for Better Time Management
Ep 106 Distracted by Your Phone? 2 Key Steps for Christian Women to Overcome Digital Distraction
Ep 107 Wish You Could Break-up with Your Phone? 3 Steps to Start Setting Healthy Screen-Time Boundaries
Visit the REDEEM Her Time Website https://redeemhertime.com
> Join the REDEEM Her Time Community (did I mention it’s FREE?!)
> Get the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Guide + Screensaver (inside the group)
> Schedule a free 15 Min Strategy Session
>>> or DO ALL-THE-ABOVE!
P.S. And don’t forget to leave a review to get your name in the drawing for $100 OFF the REDEEM Her Time Program…coming soon
