Girl- are you here for it today? I don’t know about you, but this REDEEM Your Phone-time Series is definitely getting to the root of some things for me…and I’m so excited cuz we officially start the 40 day challenge TOMORROW, Feb 22nd!
Note: if you’re listening to this after that date, you’re not too late! Just follow along with the podcast and be sure to join the free REDEEM Her Time Community to grab your challenge guide + screensaver to make you think twice about your commitment to make the best use of it every time you pick it up. You can find the group at redeemhertime.com/community and pop in the conversation.
Hopefully you’re seeing this is not just a phone issue (or even a big tech issue), but an individual heart issue.
It’s no one’s fault but your own that your phone distracts you as much as it does. Sure you can try to pass the blame off on the device manufacturers, the app developers, the advertisers…or even the people on the other side of your screen who are constantly posting, commenting, liking, messaging….are you hearing all the noise too?
But here’s the thing, despite all of that, it’s still YOUR choice as to WHEN you pick up your phone, WHAT you do with it and WHY… Right?
So you can have all the awareness, make a definite decision, and set healthy screen-time boundaries…but like we talked about last time on Episode 108, you don’t just want to sweep things under the rug…cuz if you remember the example we looked at from Luke 11, the state of your “house” (or phone) will be worse than it was at first.
That’s why in doing this REDEEM Her Phone Time Challenge, we’ve been starting with what to do with your mindset around it…and your heart.
And we’ll keep coming back to the heart, but we’re also gonna start sprinkling in some really tactical, practical things you can do to use your phone well in light of eternity. Our goal is to love God and to love others more and more…and despite what you may have been told or experienced up till now, your phone can be a great way to do that! In fact, since it’s probably the one thing that is with you the most in your day, why not find a way to REDEEM how you use it?
Cuz your phone is not going away…no matter how much you long to flush it down the toilet some days, it might be really hard to function without it in the world we live in- at least not for very long, right?
So what can we do with it to make it more of a tool rather than a distraction? I’m so glad you asked.
The best way to make your phone less distracting is to make it more like the phone you only carried when you left the house 10-15 years ago- you know, the one that you had to flip open (and maybe even pull up an antenna) and that actually rang and you answered it…remember those days? It’s so funny how you can date movies now based on what style of phone the characters are using!
Phones actually used to be just a communication device.
Now they no longer just ring every once in a while- they literally sing, ding and ping every few minutes….no wonder we’re so distracted by them. And that’s just when someone else is using THEIR device to reach us…what about all the times YOU pick it up and initiate that scroll, troll and rabbit hole??? Guilty as charged.
Phones today, and all they can do, are designed to be addictive and leave us wanting more.
Forgive me if I’ve already shared this, but just recently, a young mom friend of mine was sitting on my couch describing how she feels when she’s on her phone- particularly on social media. Here’s what she said, “I feel like if I keep scrolling, I’ll find that one thing that will make me feel better…and if I stop, I will miss something. So I just keep scrolling.” Usually we are using our phone to fill that void or find our value…and in reality, most of it is empty and fleeting.
The Bible reminds us in many places that our life and the things of this world are fleeting…
“Show me O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.” Psalm 39:4
“What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” 1 John 3:17
“Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.” Ecclesiastes 2:11
Isn’t it interesting that was all written way before technology consumed our life and time…but it still applies today?
That is why we must cling to our WHY when we are doing something different with our phones… Because these changes are not an ends in and of themselves, but a means to an end- to glorify God and to love Him and others more and more.
One way we can do that is to make our phones less addictive and less fun to use.
So are you ready for 5 tips to dumb-down your smart-phone so you can get More Time in your Day? Good- I’m gonna challenge you today…you’ll probably wanna write these down so you can actually follow through and take action. I’ll wait while you pause to grab something to take notes with.
Before we go any further, let me just say- you don’t have to do all 5 or even half of them, but I do challenge you to pick at least 1 to try and see how it changes things for you. Here we go…
- CLEAN OUT YOUR HOME SCREEN. Notice I did not say clean UP, but clean OUT like we talked about in Episode 108. Why? Cuz this step is not just to make things look pretty, but to actually get rid of what’s distracting you. Just like your closet, sometimes it’s hard to trash something, even if you know it’s not benefitting you in this season, right? I know, cuz I’ve done some hard closet clean outs too.
Here’s a great rule of thumb to remove the distraction from your phone…keep the TOOLS and ditch the ENTERTAINMENT. For example, my maps app, tax app and instacart app are tools that help me make the best use of my time. Never have I ever been bored and gone looking inside those tools to fill the time. But Candy Crush, Netflix and TikTok are considered entertainment…chances are, when you have a spare minute or want to intentionally distract yourself, you open something like those, right? Do you see the difference now between a TOOL and ENTERTAINMENT?
Now, you might be thinking…what about things like YouTube that can be used for BOTH information AND entertainment? Be honest with yourself- what do you typically use it for? I have a tip in a few weeks that might help in this area when we talk about making things less accessible. For now consider this- you could still visit YouTube on your computer. Would you actually take the time to go do that? If not, there’s your answer…it probably IS a distraction on your phone.
Before we move on, I’m gonna give you 1 rule for this tip: You have to get rid of SOMETHING. Chances are, there are lots you could (and should) delete, but for now, remove at least 1. And you’ll find that once you do the first one, it’s easier to do the next and the next. And if you stop at 1, that’s ok too…at least you’ve taken a step.
- REMOVE EMAIL. What?! Is my email really that distracting? Let me ask…how many times a day do you check your email? If it’s more than once or twice in 24 hours, it’s a distraction. And I see you red-light readers…there is no reason you need to be checking your email in the 30 seconds you sit at a red light when there’s nothing you can do about it anyway!
Your email doesn’t need immediate attention.
If someone really needs an instant response, they’d probably call or text anyway, right? Oh yeah- that’s what our phones were originally intended for…funny how that works!
So don’t feel like you need to be Johnny-on-the-spot if you’re that girl who feels the need to constantly check cuz you see a new number in that red circle. And if you’re like my friend (who will remain unnamed to protect her identity) who has a number with a comma in that red circle cuz you just ignore your inbox…why bother looking at that overwhelming number all day long anyway? Obviously it feels like too much to do anything about (cuz if what was in there mattered, you would have done it already). And I’m guessing even though you may not see it, it’s causing friends and family who see it to have a heart attack. (I know cuz that was my response when I saw that number on my friend’s phone too). Either way, you’re not missing anything by removing it from your phone, right?
But how will you function without constant access? Here’s a novel idea- heck your email on your computer- it’s easier to see all your messages, organize them and respond to them on a bigger screen anyway. Instead of constantly checking emails on my phone or computer, I’ve put an email check task in my work start up routine and another in my work shut down routine. That way I get in there in the morning to see what needs my attention that day…and in the evening to see what I need to address before the day is over or what can wait till the next morning.
Ahh…it is so freeing to NOT constantly check your email.
And I’ve got a few other email tips for you to simplify the process that I’ll devote an entire episode to. For now, just remove it from your phone…or if you can’t bear to not see the envelope there because the phone manufacturer thinks you need constant access or because you travel a lot without your computer nearby, start by creating boundaries around when and where you check it.
- DELETE SOCIAL MEDIA APPS. Pretty sure you knew this one was coming even before we started…that’s why I softened the blow with some easier steps to take first. Remember, I’m doing this right along with ya my friend.
Chances are, social media apps are the #1 reason your phone has transformed from just a communication tool to a distraction device.
Here’s one way to check…go to settings >battery and look at what ‘s taking up the highest percent of your charge. There’s no hiding from the truth…the question is, are you willing to do something about it?
The average person checks their social media once every 12 minutes.
And that’s just the average person…which means you could be more often than that! Whether it’s checking an app of any type, your email, your social or even a text…it takes your brain a full 23 MINUTES to refocus after being interrupted…so add the refocus time to the time you already gave to that application and it starts to really add up.
No wonder most women who have a smartphone feel like they never have enough time!
The allure and effects of social media on our time and every other area of our life are another episode entirely to itself. For now, let’s consider how much access you want to have to it. Cuz here’s the thing, just like email, you can check it on your computer.
Having to go get your laptop, wake it up, log in, and type in the url will probably keep you from running to it every 12 minutes or less…right?
I’ve heard some women say they remove their social media during the work week in order to focus on their job or business, while others remove it on the weekend to not be distracted from family and friends. Why not just remove it from your phone all the time so you can always be fully present with who or what is in front of you? Remember, thanks to that annoying algorithm only 3% of your followers even see your stuff anyway, so it’s NOT the most effective way to communicate if that’s what you thought you were using it for. Girl, the people you want to see it, probably aren’t seeing it as often as you think.
Imagine how much time you would get back in your day if social media was off your phone!
And if that’s still a step you’re not willing to take, no worries. Like we’ve been saying all along, there are just tips to help- there’s no right or wrong. You can start by setting healthy boundaries around when and where you check it. But do me a favor, pay attention to how much time you give to your social media…and what benefits you actually reap (not many).
It takes time after being on social to recover from how it makes you feel and move on to what really matters….you’re doing yourself a favor by removing it.
- TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS. If you’ve followed Tips 1-3, this should not be as challenging as it would have been if we started with this important distraction-remover at first. You’ve cleaned out your home screen to leave just the tools and removed your email and social…congrats! You now have a device more like its original predecessor- with the intent to communicate. But for some reason, we feel this need to constantly be-in-the-know about all the updates on what’s still on our phone. Why? FOMO my friend. Those developers are smart- they knew that the way to keep you hooked was to make you think you’re missing out so you’ll keep it close by and keep checking it, which only leads to being sold to or lied to more and more. Hmm. Is that what you truly desire to focus on?
Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brothers (and sisters), whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
So ask yourself, when you see and check a notification, is it leading you to think about those things? Probably not. So why even introduce the struggle and fight to resist?
When notifications are turned off, you are in control of when you check on the latest.
I have found this so freeing as well- I don’t need to know at all times that something is waiting for me…I go check the communication tools I need when the time is right- again, setting healthy time boundaries around when and where that happens. I will say, I do check my texts more than twice a day, but when I’m in a focused timeblock, it can wait. And if they really need me, they can call which will get my attention to respond right away.
One thing that may surprise you is that in the Top 5 Tips Welcome Video inside the REDEEM Her Time Community I recommend turning ON notifications. What?!
This is not because I want you to check it every time you see a number inside a red circle, but because I believe when you’re ready, what’s there will be a wise investment of a few minutes of your time so it’s a reminder to come check it. I purposely did not build the community on FB because that’s way too distracting…just popping in our community on another platform for 5 min a day allows you to get value and give value and give you back hours in your day…cuz you’ll know how to make the best use of your time, not get sucked into everything else around you. So in order to not let it be forgotten, I’m not only giving you permission, but also a personal recommendation to turn it on as a valuable tool to help you love God and love others more and more….cuz when you use it, you’ll have the time to do it!
Besides the community, the only other notifications I have turned on are my texts and messaging…and when I’m in a focused timeblock, those have to wait till my scheduled break to get my attention.
Ask yourself-what notifications do you really NEED vs merely WANT?
- TURN OFF YOUR RINGER. If you’ve made it this far and not turned this episode off or tuned me out cuz this is all just a bit too much for you, this one will be an easy one.
With less on your phone and less alerting you, the final step is to put yourself in control of when you will and will not check your phone.
I love my hubby and also know he does not listen to my podcast- why would he when he gets me in his ear all day long…in a good way?!
Anyway, despite my attempts to coach him into turning his ringer off, he leaves it on…all the time. Back in the day, the ringer signaled someone was actually calling you…but now his phone rarely rings because there’s actually a legit person on the other end (Funny…He just got another spam call as I am preparing this episode that he would not have wasted the time answering if he only followed these tips)…it rings because he has a new message (I will give him a big shout-out for not having social media on his phone…heck, he doesn’t even use it on a computer and has never felt like he was missing out!)
Your sound notifications work like the bell for Pavlog’s dogs.
Have you heard of the experiment Pavlov did with his dogs? He rang a bell every time he wanted them to perform a specific action and then he gave them a treat. The bell rang and they responded. Eventually, the reward was removed, and when the bell rang, they responded to it in the exact same way…for nothing gained.
We are a little too like this with our phones…don’t you think?
I literally watch this happen right in front of me with my hubby all day long…he says he is going to focus on something specific that needs his attention, but his ringer informs him that something new has come in and within seconds, his phone is in hand while he pauses what was important to check his new message, which rarely matters more. And we all know what that does to his time and focus.
No wonder he never seems to get those important things done- he’s distracted by his phone all day long.
In his defense, he is trained in emergency response for his job, so he wants to be ready at a moment’s notice (and I love that about him) but how often do you think what came through was actually an emergency? I can probably count on one hand the actual number of emergencies that have come up in 27 years.
Even as I type this, he is supposed to be working on a project with his friend but each ding commands him to check something on his phone and in the last 5 min alone I heard…”Did you know the government is auctioning off land?” “I am forwarding this email to you so you can take care of it” “When is that event happening?”
It drives him crazy that I don’t keep my ringer on…but it drives me crazy that he always has his on (unless we’re at church)…especially when we’re going to bed and his friend are just getting started.
I guess that’s what love is all about…but I’m still hoping I rub off on him.
So there you go- 5 Tips to Dumb-down your Smart-phone to get more Time back in your day…
- CLEAN OUT YOUR HOME SCREEN.
- REMOVE YOUR EMAIL.
- REMOVE YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA.
- TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS.
- TURN OFF YOUR RINGER.
If you’re a go-big-or-go-home kind of girl like me, feel free to do all 5 in that order, but if you’re a take-baby-steps kind of girl, that’s ok too- just pick 1 to start with (I recommend the clean out) and I guarantee you’ll start seeing changes in your phone-time.
And let me leave you with a few questions to spend time thinking…
- What apps do you visit most often? Are they necessary tools or needless entertainment?
- Who do you communicate with the most? Who do you want to be more intentional with? What’s the most effective way to connect with them?
- Do you put your antenna up when God speaks through His Word, prayer, silence, wise friends, podcasts? How are you hearing His voice and communicating back to Him?
I warned you, this process is simple…but it’s not easy.
That’s why we’re doing the REDEEM Her Phone Time Challenge TOGETHER inside our community.
Come join us to process what we’ve talked about on the podcast, declare your intentions and find the accountability and resources to actually follow through on making a change. You’re gonna love how much you grow and I can’t wait to welcome you on the inside.
You can do anything for 40 days….and these 40 days could change everything about your time.
Like I said, the REDEEM Her Phone-Time challenge officially kicks off tomorrow…but it’s never too late to join us- just grab your free guide inside the group. And be sure to follow the show cuz on our next episode, we’ll dive into whose kingdom you’re really building…and what your phone-time (and heart) has to do with it. See you soon.
Ha- this really works! So as you know, my notifications and ringer are off and my phone was actually flipped upside down while I’m focused on finishing up this podcast…but it rang just now (actually it vibrated with the ringtone) so I picked it up and it was my daughter calling from college. She knows that if she needs me or just wants me, to call, not message to get my full attention.
I know you can do this my friend. Then you too will be more present to who + what really matters in the moment.
Thanks for joining me for this episode and until next time, remember…
You DO have ALL the time you need to do ALL He has called you to.
Be available to who + what matters most in this season and in light of eternity…
Cuz you are here for Such a Time as This.
Binge the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Challenge Series
Ep 105 No Time? The #1 Tip to Find 1-4 Hours in your Day for Better Time Management
Ep 106 Distracted by Your Phone? 2 Key Steps for Christian Women to Overcome Digital Distraction
Ep 107 Wish You Could Break-up with Your Phone? 3 Steps to Start Setting Healthy Screen-Time Boundaries
Ep 108 Don’t Live on Good Intentions. 4 Steps to Create a Personalized Phone-Time Plan to Prioritize What Matters
Visit the REDEEM Her Time Website https://redeemhertime.com
> Join the REDEEM Her Time Community (did I mention it’s FREE?!)
> Get the REDEEM Her Phone-Time Guide + Screensaver (inside the group)
> Schedule a free 15 Min Strategy Session
>>> or DO ALL-THE-ABOVE!
P.S. And don’t forget to leave a review to get your name in the drawing for $100 OFF the REDEEM Her Time Program…coming soon
