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Episode 98: Part 3: Identify Your WITH-God Priorities. 3 Ways to Focus on Less

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Hey friend. 

I just gotta say it makes me smile to know that you’re here- that you are leaning in, listening intently and living out what we’re talking about here on the Redeem Her Time podcast.  It’s timely, wouldn’t you agree?  (Pun intended). 

But seriously, time stress and time strain is a real thing so how you view and use your time in light of the fact that you are redeemed should (and does) make all the difference.  And if it has in some way, I’d love to hear.. and ask you for a favor.  If this is your first, or maybe second episode, consider this my gift to you and disregard what I’m about to ask…but if this is your third, thirteenth, or perhaps thirtieth episode and you haven’t taken a min to leave a review, would you consider doing that now?  As a gift to me?  And as a gift to all the other faith-led women like you who often feel like they are drowning in the busyness of life, wishing they had the time to spend with the Lord and live out His call on their life? Here’s how it works, the more 5 star reviews the show gets, the more the algorithm elves put the show out there cuz those reviews tell them there’s value here.  I personally make it a point that if I follow a show beyond 1 or 2 episodes, I leave a review, cuz I know how much it means.  That’s my gift to that host and those they are called to serve.  So let me just say thank you very much for leaving a review for the show right now. If you haven’t done it yet, no better time than the present…unless of course you’re driving. In that case, tell siri to set a reminder for when you arrive.  But for the rest of you not behind the wheel, let’s do it now. Don’t worry, I won’t start without you, so push pause, scroll down to leave a review, share the value it has given you and why you’d recommend it to others and I’ll wait for you before we dive into today’s episode.

You back?  Again, thank you. I can’t wait to read what you just shared…and see how it helps put the show in the hands of other busy faith-led women looking for real-life answers.  And I just gotta ask…Are you liking this twice a week thing too?  If you haven’t noticed, you’re seeing Episodes drop on both Tuesdays AND Thursdays, so be sure to follow the show so you don’t miss anything.  Tuesdays are where I’ll share Timely Tips you can put into action right away and Thursdays are for our deeper conversations around our time, why it matters as faith-led women and how to use it for kingdom purposes. 

You also may have noticed that today’s episode says Part 3…that’s for good reason, cuz we’ve already done Step 1 and 2 on Episodes 94 and 96. But no worries, once an episode is out in the world, it lives on forever…that’s why my focus is on pouring value into you here on the podcast, not on social where posts only last 24 hours and where it can get super distracting…I could go on about the distractions of social and how it steals our time as faith-led women, but we’ll  save that conversation for another time.  Today we’re working through this 4 Step process to do life WITH-God in the new year. Before we go any further, let me pause here to make an important disclaimer- this process does NOT have to wait for the start of a new year.  In fact, I personally revisit these steps every 13 weeks…13 weeks?  I know that seems kinda random, but there’s a method as to why I picked that number that I’ll be teaching more about inside the Redeem Her Time Program coming soon…so for now think of it as about once a quarter. The point is, it doesn’t have to be done on a specific date or time of year that lines up with when everyone else is thinking about vision and goals and priorities…cuz look at how that turns out for most people- less than 8% even reach their goals.  Apparently just thinking about this at the New Year is NOT an effective plan if you’re going for sustainable life-change.  That’s why we do it differently here in the Redeem Her Time Community…cuz we want different results that last for kingdom purposes. 

Let’s take a quick look back, cuz with repetition (and implementation) comes mastery.  Pre-Part 1 focused on REFLECTION where we looked back at where we’ve been and how far we’ve come and asked some good questions you can revisit on Episode 90.  Remember, this step is never done with judgment or shoulda-woulda-coulda’s or to keep you looking in the rearview mirror…it’s for noticing in order to learn and grow moving forward. 

Then, Part 1 focused on our ATTENTION where we created our WITH-God Vision in the 8 key areas (go back to Episode 94 anytime you need to revisit that) If you’re using your journal to learn and grow with the podcasts, now would be a good time to grab it out and make sure you have these 8 areas of attention written down….I’m gonna warn you, if you stick around me long enough, you’ll be able to rattle them off in your sleep!  (That’s a good thing cuz it will keep them top-of-mind). Either way, here they are for you-  Your faith-walk, family, friendships, service, stewardship, wellness, passions, and dwelling.  Push pause to make sure you’ve got those somewhere you can easily access them cuz we’re gonna keep coming back to them.  In this step, we got quiet and used some specific questions to dream with God about who He is calling you to be in each area and what He is calling you to do…and then attach why that matters.  When you join us to go through the Redeem Her Time Program I mentioned earlier, we’ll dive deeper and implement a key step most people don’t do, that you’ll find will make all the difference for you.  You’re gonna love it, so stay tuned.  For now, focus on your what + why in each area.  And go back to Episode 94 if you want to be guided with those questions. 

Next, Part 2 focused on your INTENTIONS- that’s where we crafted our WITH-God Goals… that actually STICK.  Just having a big vision is not going to get you anywhere, so this step focuses on making it actionable with smaller steps.  Think of your vision like a lighthouse. If you are on a boat, you better believe you keep that guiding light in sight at all times, and make regular adjustments to stay aimed towards it, especially  knowing that wind, waves and storms can take you off course (which reminds me, did you listen to my true story in Episode 96 about the challenging goal my hubby set to row the Atlantic Ocean in 2023? Yep, it’s true. In a rowboat.   They will need to make constant adjustments and keep the harbor in Antigua, their final destination, in sight- at least on their navigation system, cuz there’s no way they’ll see it from the Canary Islands 3000 miles across the open ocean! What makes it even more fun for those of us on shore is that there’s an app where you can track their exact location at all times over the 50 days to see if they’re on course.) Back to this step, there are a lot of obvious things in our lives that can take us off course- a transition, a diagnosis, a loss, an accident….  But often in life, there are less obvious things that also impact our course like laziness, comparison, self-sabotage, lack of focus…we’ll dive into those distractions in an upcoming episode. The point is, there will always be things that get you off course- whether under your control or not-  that’s why you have to have a lighthouse to guide you, right?  And when that lighthouse is really far away, kinda like your With-God vision might feel right now, it’s also important to break it down into shorter milestones along the way to track your progress.  That’s where this step of writing STICK-y goals comes in.  It breaks this big, maybe scary, vision into small, doable steps.  Do you remember the acronym to make your goals STICK?  Specific, time-based, important, challenging, kingdom-driven.  That’s just the formula, so for more details on each part and how to apply it  to make your goals STICK-y (aka stick around well past Jan 17th when most people’s goals die) and see lasting life-change, go back and listen to Episode 96. 

Now that we’re caught up, I’ve got some good news- although this is Part 3, we’re gonna stay camped out on your INTENTIONS for one more week by setting some priorities because you can’t do all-the-things…if you remember that was one of the reasons goals die that we talked about- LESS truly is MORE.  

If you were an A student and did the assignment from Episode 96, you’re now looking at your journal or notes app where you wrote 3 goals for each of the 8 areas for a total of 24 goals. If you’re not there yet, no worries, like I said, you can go back to those steps and episodes after this one. Wow- 24 goals that are in alignment with your WITH-God vision, how does that make you feel? Good and overwhlemed?  I’ll be honest, I come from a long history of over-achieving so back in the day I couldn’t NOT do it all.  But what I learned was that when I tried to do it all, eventually I wasn’t doing any of it. 

Let me illustrate it for you. Imagine you’re in the circus (let’s be honest, what woman doesn’t feel like life is a 3-ring circus sometimes, right?) So you’re in the circus and you’re doing a juggling act with 24 balls. First of all, I don’t even know if that’s humanly possible so I did a quick Google search and found the Guinness Record for the most balls juggled at once is….drum roll please….11 balls.  This record was set by Alex Barron from the UK back in 2012 and previously had not been broken for 16 years.  And what’s important to note is that he spent 2 years practicing for this feat and on the day he broke the record spent 4 ½ hours that day attempting it…and get this, the actual juggling of 11 balls only lasted a few seconds because he couldn’t keep it up for more than 23 catches.  Whew. That’s a lot of time and energy invested for just a few seconds of results.  And we think we can juggle 24 goals?  I promise we’ll make it less in just a min, but for now, let’s go back to the picture of you in the center ring with your 24 balls. If you’ve been practicing, you may be able to juggle a few, but unless you have some talent you’ve kept hidden from the world, you won’t be able to do more than 11, or at least not for very long. 

As a former do-all-the-things girl, my badge of honor was the number of things I could juggle in my life at one time- my marriage, my parenting, my homeschooling, my volunteering, my hospitality, my health, my friends, my parents, my organizing, my leading, my cooking, my creating, my planning…the list goes on, but I won’t put you through the rest of it. The problem was that I couldn’t keep that juggling act going for very long, so balls started dropping.  And here’s the thing I noticed, some balls, like my service, stewardship, passions, and dwelling were rubber balls- if I dropped it, it would bounce back or I could pick it back up later, unscathed for the most part. But other balls like my faith, family, friends, and wellness were made of glass- if I dropped those, they would be “irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered” to quote James Patterson from Suzanne’s Diary for Nicholas. But what I found was not only did I drop balls…lots of them, both rubber and glass ones, but I also dropped in exhaustion myself. At that point, I was of no use in living out my calling and no good to anyone else either.  Why do we have to learn the hard way?

I pray you’re not like I was, or maybe you are, and that’s ok, because like I remind you (and myself) over and over on this podcast, God’s more concerned with your being than your doing. Which means doing more is not going to help you earn salvation or favor in His sight in any way, because He already sees you as perfect and blameless in His sight. Listen to what He reminded me of just recently in 2 Timothy 1:9. “He saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but because of His own purpose and grace which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began” Did you catch that?  He called us not because of how many balls we can juggle or even that we juggle the right balls, but because of His purpose and grace that has existed since before you were even on this earth, even before the earth was created. That’s good news- cuz that means you (and I) don’t have to juggle all-the-things we think we do to live out His calling on our life.  How about we determine once and for all that we will do less, and put down some balls…for Him?

Now I gotta warn ya cuz here’s where it gets tempting, especially for us as Christian women,  to play the martyr and put down the goals you have written in front of you that are seemingly focused on you- I’m talking about the ones that are in the rubber ball areas of service, stewardship, passions, dwelling- especially those last two. But here’s the thing- You do matter.  And the calling God has on your life matters.  So taking care of you so you have the health, energy and resources to live out your calling well matters.  When you look at the 8 key areas of attention, although some seem more glassy than others, they are all important.  And if you let any one of them drop (or neglect it for too long), you will feel the effects, as will the other areas of attention.  So for this Step, we’re not going to drop whole areas of attention, instead we’re going to prioritize the goals you have in each area and narrow your list down from 24 to your top 8. That’s focusing on just 1 specific step you want to take in each area for this season.  Now, that being said, it still will take some practice to keep your top 8 in the air (particularly if you’re like me and can only got as far as scarf juggling back in elementary school PE…pretty sure they don’t do juggling in school any more…or was that just my school?)  But no worries, that’s what Part 4 will be for next time. 

Today, to help you with this process of identifying your WITH-GOD priorities, let me share 3 ways to Focus on Less…and promise me you won’t try to pick up all the others right now. You’ll need to be ok with some things not getting your focused attention for now. Ready to take notes?

  1.  Identify what really matters in your life. I’m assuming if you’re listening to this that we might think alike on this….I don’t want to end up at the end of a day, a week, a month, a season, a year, a lifetime and have regrets about not doing what really mattered.  Don’t get me wrong, I often put time into something that could have been better spent, but by asking the question often, “am I focusing on what matters most?”, I avoid too much time getting wasted on less important things.  One of the questions on the year in review- actually it’s a fill-in-the blank was…I spent way too much time (fill in the blank) and not nearly enough time (fill in the blank).  Like I said, don’t wait till the end of a year to ask or chances are you’ll have been distracted by meaningless things for way too long with lots of regrets.  Look at each of the goals you wrote for each area of attention. Are there any that if you put your time there will cause you to have regrets?  Don’t play the martyr, but take an honest look and see if there are any that just don’t matter as much. Hopefully that just eliminated a few from your list, but perhaps you feel like they all really matter, which would make sense if you wrote your WITH-God goals using your WITH-God vision.  So let’s move on to number two.
  2.  Identify what really matters for eternity.  Here’s where goal-setting and goal achievement looks vastly different for us as faith-led women who are redeeming our time for kingdom purposes. Life on this earth is temporary.  If you look closely at the Bible, it’s not a random collection of stories, poems and letters, it’s actually one big story of God wanting to be WITH humans.  From Genesis to Revelation, or Eden to Eternity, God continues to reach out as Emmanuel, God with us, saying over and over, “I want to be WITH you.” and then He asks, “Do you want to be WITH Me?”  (I am reading through the Bible this year with this theme in mind and would love to share more about what resources I’m using, so reach out if you wanna know more)  Sadly, all throughout the Scriptures, and in the world around us or in our own lives sometimes, people choose to live life WITHOUT God – guaranteed they will feel the effects in both life on earth and in eternity.  But as a daughter of the King who is redeemed, you are seeking to say YES to His invitation to be WITH Him every moment of every day and that does not wait till you die, but eternity (aka the Kingdom of God) begins now. In this life.  That is why it matters what we do with our time for Kingdom purposes.  So this should be another way to evaluate your goals.  Look at what’s on your list.  Are there any that do not directly tie to kingdom purposes or lead towards them?  Again, your goal to workout 4 days a week does not need to be cut out because it’s important you have the health, energy and vitality to live out His calling for as long as you are in this body here on earth.  But sometimes we set goals that really don’t have any connection to eternal value, so perhaps that will shorten your list.  Or again, you may feel like they all matter which is why you need this last litmus test to pick out your top 8. 
  3.  Identify what will make the biggest difference right now.  Here’s the truth- although everything might matter in this life and eternity, that does not mean it all matters equally right now, in this season…and let’s be honest if you try to do it all at once, none of it will get your best focus and attention and you’ll be spread too thin to really see those outcomes you envisioned with God, so it’s not gonna get you farther faster anyway.  Here’s where we need to prioritize for this season. Again, I cannot tell you enough why this is so important to do every 13 weeks, because it helps keep you in alignment with your vision and check in with your results to stay on course with your WITH-God vision.  At this point, whether you’re still looking at 24 goals or some lesser number, I’m going to MAKE you choose. In each area of attention, you are going to choose just 1 WITH-God STICK-y goal that will make the biggest difference in that area in this season.  Here’s where you can pull the 1 THING focusing question we talked about on Episode 95 out of your mental tool box.  

What is the 1 goal I have written down (or will write now) in my faith-walk that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or I’ll add, better?  Circle or star that 1 action step for your faith-walk 

Then move on and ask- What is the 1 thing in my family that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my friendships that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my service that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my stewardship that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my wellness that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my passions that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Then ask- What is the 1 thing in my dwelling that if I do it, will make everything else easier, unnecessary or better? Circle it. Star it. 

Did that feel redundant?  Good. That’s on purpose.  Because it’s the same simple step repeated over and over. No matter how amazing the 24 WITH-God goals were that you brought into this episode, you now have identified your top 8 WITH-God priorities.  Does that make you feel lighter already?  If you’re still wondering HOW you are going to do these 8 when you barely have time to breathe (or so you think), hold tight and be sure to tune in for Part 4 when we create your WITH-God plan.  In the meantime, there are 3 things I want you to do…

  1.  Use the STICK-y formula to make these 8 priorities sticky-y.  Specific, Time-based, Important, Challenging, Kingdom-driven
  2. Write these top 8 priorities in a place where you will see them often- perhaps that’s on a few post-its or on a white board or on a collage you create on Canva or a cork board
  3. Pray over your top 8 priorities- asking God to guide and direct… and this is important, in prayer, leave the HOW up to Him…I promise, He’s got ya and I’ve got tips I’ll share on Part 4.  

Speaking of praying over your priorities, may I pray for you? Do you know I pray for you, my listener, every day?  I really do.  

Lord, Thank you for the gift of time you have given us while we are here on earth. Thank you for the holy calling you have put on each one of your daughter’s lives, including this precious sister.  Show her where her intentions may not really matter in this life, leading to regrets.  Show her where her intentions may not really matter for kingdom purposes, leading to waste.  Show her which ones will make the biggest difference right now in this season of her life.  And show her that you are more than enough to do all of these things and more in her life when she trusts in you.  Give her the gift of faith to put them in your hands.  In Jesus’s name, amen.

Here’s the thing- 24 may be doable for some, but not well and not for long. But 8 is doable for you (with God) and you’re gonna see when these go in your plan first, there’s room for everything else…and you may even find you have room left over!  

Go do your 3 things and let’s continue the conversation (and implementation) over in the Redeem Her Time Community- that’s our exclusive community off social where we can encourage, challenge and come alongside one another distraction free around topics like we’ve talked about today. Inside you’ll get access to member-only accountability calls, exclusive online course content and so many resources to help you make lasting change with how you view and use your time.  It’s the place to be if you want to take the next step to Redeem YOUR time.  So what do you say- wanna meet up over there?  You can join us at redeemhertime.com/join. 

Or better yet, I mentioned earlier that I opened up some spots for individualized 15 min strategy sessions where I can help you work through these steps to identify your WITH-God priorities…go grab a spot before they fill up at redeemhertime.com/call

Whether you wanna do this in community or individually… or both…I’ll drop those links in the show notes. 

Thanks for joining me for this episode and until next time, remember…

You DO have ALL the time you need to do ALL He has called you to…focus on who + what matters most to Redeem your Time…cuz you are here for Such a Time as This.  

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