How are you doing with your New Year Resolutions?
Every day you do something to move towards who God wants you to be is a win…and like I reminded you in Episode 95, new habits are hardest at the beginning- but good news- they get easier each time you do them, so don’t give up. But as I’m saying this, I’m wondering if there’s someone listening who is like the way I used to be. I was sick and tired of setting new year’s resolutions or goals or whatever you wanna call them and then not showing up for myself and not following through again and again that I gave up on even setting them. Why bother when you know you’ll just end up in the same place yet another year. If I’m speaking to you, I wanna give you hope that it doesn’t have to be that way. And I truly don’t believe God wants us to stay the same person in the same place year after year. That’s like the servant in Matthew 25 who took the talents his master gave him and buried them in the ground. Needless to say, it did not benefit the Master’s purposes in any way. God has redeemed you as His child and has put you here for such a time as this.
So, what are you doing with the time He has given you to invest in Kingdom purposes? You’re either moving forward towards who He is calling you to be or you’re moving backward- there’s really no neutral. So perhaps today will give you a renewed perspective. On today’s episode, we will address the top 3 reasons Goals don’t find their fulfillment and a simple formula to use to make them STICK. Cuz you don’t want to be sitting at the end of a year, a season, a month, a week, even a day and not see growth, right? Me either, so let’s dive in with a quick look back at what we’ve covered to lay the foundation. Got your journal ready?
If you recall, back on Episode 90, we did some REFLECTION with a Year in Review. If you didn’t use the 8 questions to look back at 2022, I highly recommend taking time to do that now. Reflection always gives us some perspective and helps us put that GPS pin on our current location.
Then last week on Episode 94 (which I called Part 1) we started to focus our ATTENTION and talked about how to Create a WITH-God Vision in the 8 Areas of Attention- your faith-walk, family, friendships, service, stewardship, wellness, passions and dwelling. I challenged you to take a few minutes in each area to prayerfully write out what God is calling you to be and do in that part of your life in this next year. This step is like putting your destination in your GPS so that your device can give you route options to choose from. Again, if you have not gone through that workshop style episode, I highly recommend you do. And let me just pause and hint at one more new thing that is coming soon- the REDEEM Her Time ™ Plan…a 12 week system with support to help you work through these steps and more to practically apply them to your time. Stay tuned!
Today we are moving on to Step 2 where we will work on your INTENTIONS (do you hear the -tion pattern? REFLECTION. ATTENTION. INTENTION. I like to create patterns so things stick in my brain and I trust it helps you too. Spoiler alert, the next -tion is IMPLEMENTATION. So keep coming back for more).
Note: The words intention and goal can be interchanged. I am choosing to use the word intention because then they originate from inside you and move you towards an intended outcome. I kinda feel like people are burned out on the word Goal, or at least associate it with all the goals they’ve missed in the past. Is that how you feel too? Let’s not focus on the past where you’ve not followed through, let’s focus on where you are now and where God is calling you to be moving forward. Sound good?
Before I teach you the formula for setting intentions that stick and actually happen, let’s take a quick look at why most intentions/goals die so quickly. I see 3 reasons- see which ones you’ve experienced…and don’t feel bad if it’s all-the-above.
Reason #1- You had too many intentions/goals. We talked about this just a few days ago on episode 95- if you try to take on the world, pretty soon, balls will drop…and so will you. So instead of trying to make monumental change in all 8 areas of attention, use the 1 Thing Question I share on that episode- as a review, here it is again (but I definitely recommend listening to that one to get all the juicy nuggets) What is the 1 thing I can do such that by doing it everything will become easier or unnecessary? Just pick 1 intention, goal, habit to focus on, create consistency and build into a routine and then you can go back and pick up the next one. Wow- as someone who always wants to improve myself, people and the world around me, I wish I had been given that piece of advice a long time ago! Now you’ve got it. Just focus on your 1 thing at a time.
Reason #2- You set intentions/goals that were too big. I know, I know, when we get excited, myself included, we tend to go big or go home. When it comes to your WITH-God Vision, Bigger is better. But when it comes to your intentions/goals, you want to aim small. Why? Wouldn’t shooting for the moon ensure you hit the stars? Yes, and no. Too big can be too overwhelming to start. It can feel like you have to muster a lot of motivation and resources and lose steam along the way. And sometimes too big makes it hard to know if you even hit the bullseye. If this is you, hold tight, cuz the formula I’m gonna share with you will help you not fall into the too big trap.
Reason #3- Your intentions/goals are not set the right way. Now I know, there’s not technically a manual on how to do this, but we have all learned from experience how to NOT do it, right? Take for example a popular goal at the start of the year- GET HEALTHIER. Good area of attention, but what exactly is your invention? And how will you know if you’re making progress and how will you know when you reach that goal? Something like I will get healthier this year by eating whole foods, drinking water and exercising regularly is better…but still not quite the right way…cuz there’s a better way.
Ready for it? How do you set intentions that stick? You make them STICK-y. I’ve created a formula for busy faith-led women like you who are frustrated with the start-stop-drop cycle of goals and good intentions in the past and tired of showing up to another year defeated from burying your talents in the ground while longing to hear “well done my good and faithful servant” Let’s make 2023 different by making your INTENTIONS STICK-y. Got your journal or notes app? Good, now let’s dive in.
First, let me give you the entire formula, then we’ll go back and break down each part so you can better apply it. I can’t wait to hear the difference this makes for you…here it is…
Specific + Time-based + Important + Challenging + Kingdom-driven
S is for SPECIFIC. This ties back to the too big and wrong way reasons we just talked about. When you make sure your intention/goal is specific then you won’t get lost in the sea of generalities or in the how-close-is-enough conundrum. So back to our example of Get Healthy. That is way too general, so let’s make it specific. What is one specific way you will measure your health? Maybe it’s in relation to your water intake (cuz we all know that helps with blood flow, waste removal, mental clarity, weight loss, right?) So perhaps your intention is to drink 1 gallon of water per day. That is way more specific than get healthy, don’t you think? And if it includes a number, it makes it even easier to measure- like doing your pilates app 4 days a week. We’re getting better on our Get Healthy goal, but let’s not stop there…
T is for TIME-BASED. As one of my mentors always says, if you don’t put a time or date on it, it probably won’t happen. That’s because good intentions don’t take action on their own, they need a space on your calendar to live so they will get the consistent attention. When you’re thinking about time in relation to your intention/goal, you can look at it from a few different perspectives. Back to our example of drinking 1 gallon of water, you could say I will get healthy by drinking 1 gallon of water by 6 pm daily. That time stamp gives you a finish line each day. Or you could say I will get healthy by drinking 1 gallon of water a day for 30 days or till Feb 4th. Either way, you are giving yourself a finish line that is not only easy to identify, but also keeps you moving towards it. And this might be a good time to insert my opinion on how far out to set goals. I believe that a vision should be 1, 3 or 5 years in the future. But I believe a goal should ideally be about 90 days or 12 weeks out. That way, you create a healthy sense of urgency with a finish line you can see and you’re not tempted to be the infamous hare in the tale where he takes a nap cuz he thinks he has plenty of time…and the tortoise ends up winning. In fact, inside the REDEEM Her Time Plan that’s coming soon, I’ll walk you through how to build a 12 week plan for your growth. Stay tuned.
I is for IMPORTANT. This one should go without saying, except too often it is not remembered. Your intention/goal needs to be important…to YOU. How often have you set a goal out of obligation or expectation? In either case, it really didn’t belong to you- it belonged to what someone else wanted or even to what you thought the culture at large expects. The problem with that is that when push comes to shove, when you wake up and don’t feel like it, when you come up against an obstacle, when you don’t see results for all the work you’ve put in…the buck stops with you. So if you don’t have ownership of your goal or intention, it’s easy to let it slip away or even purposely throw it down. So make sure your goal is important to you in this season. It has to really matter….and I can’t emphasize enough, matter to YOU. And no, that’s not selfish, because I guarantee it will have a ripple effect into other areas of your life and the people you impact. So let’s apply it to our GET HEALTHY goal… I will get healthy by drinking 1 gallon of water by 6 pm daily because it will give me more energy. Sounding stronger? Just wait, cuz it gets better.
C is for CHALLENGING. Too often we set too small of a goal that doesn’t require any more than what we already have or know. Have you heard me talk about A goals, B goals and C goals? Either way, this will help with making our intentions/goals more challenging. So an A-type goal is one you KNOW you can do because you’ve done it before. Take for example running a mile. Everyone had to do that as part of PE back in the day, so that type of goal is not going to require much more than deciding (and doing of course). A B-type goal is one you THINK you can do because you can strategize based on things you’ve done before. Back to our running example, if 1 mile is the farthest you’ve gone, you can set a b type goal to run 3.1 miles (aka a 5K). Sure you’ve not run more than one, but you can just take what you know to run 1 mile and do it more to get to 3 miles (or go google a great couch to 5K program. Again, doesn’t require you to think much differently, just maybe stick with it longer. But a C-type goal is one you can only imagine right now because it’s so far beyond anything you’ve ever done or could strategically map out. That would be like having only run 1 mile (or maybe your 3.1) and declaring you’re going to run an ultra marathon of 100 miles…what??? Why in the world would anyone want to set a crazy goal like that. (it just hit me that this is the perfect place to insert a real life example I am watching played out in my home- exactly 1 year from today my hubby will be in a rowboat- yes I said rowboat, but a technically advanced one- rowing 3000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean with 4 other veterans. It is estimated to take them around 50 days at sea and will involve thousands of hours on the rower in our basement and on the boat together with his teammates…He’s a strong guy, but this is way beyond anything he’s ever attempted. So back to the question of why- because he loves a challenge- a big challenge- one that requires him to test his physical and mental fortitude far beyond its limits. And he’s doing it for a good cause- to raise funds, provide resources and promote awareness for US military veterans in the area of mental wellness and suicide prevention. All I can say is wow. I am inspired, but there’s no way I would get in a boat- I told him I will meet him in Antigua when they land. And if you are interested in following his journey or helping to sponsor a mile or know someone who would, email me the word ROW to lissa@redeemhertime.com and I’ll send you the details) So back to the question we left off with- why would you want to set C-type goals? Because you become a different person in the process. For you it may not be rowing the ocean with 4 dudes for nearly 2 months, but use the A, B, C type goal system to make sure your goals are at the right level of challenge for you- not so challenging that you throw up your hands in defeat, but not so easy you don’t have to grow as a person. So how in the world could we apply this to our GET HEALTHY goal? How about this- I will get healthy by drinking 1 gallon of water by 6 pm daily and add 2 extra ounces a day until I get to half my body weight in ounces because it will give me more energy (not only is that the recommendation, but drinking that much will help you lose weight I might add). Ready for our last one?
K is for KINGDOM-DRIVEN. This one won’t make sense to someone who is not a believer, but I’m guessing that’s not you if you’re listening to this today. I saved the best for last, not only because it starts with K, but because this is the one that really makes an intention/goal stick, cuz it’s connected to a bigger purpose. If you’ve gone through my program to write out your personal WITH-God Purpose Statement and Vision, this is where you tie your intention or goal to something you believe God is calling you to do or be. It needs to not only be in alignment, but drawing you closer to living out your God-given purpose. When what you do in your everyday life has an eternal impact, guaranteed you’ll stick with it longer than the rest of the world. So let’s add this element to our GET HEALTHY goal and really make it pack a punch… I will get healthy by drinking 1 gallon of water by 6 pm daily and add 2 extra ounces a day until I get to half my body weight in ounces because it will give me more energy so I can care for my spouse and kids the way God has called me to. How’s that sound? Think that goal out in front of you will stick longer than that general get healthy goal most people put out this time of year?
I know we just took the time to talk through each one, but really the formula is very simple, so let’s go back and review- be sure you have this down, cuz I’m gonna give you some homework. To make your goals STICK, they need to be…
Specific + Time-based + Important + Challenging + Kingdom-driven
Ok, ready for your assignment? I am purposely using this 4 Part series to help you get set up with your WITH-God intentions for 2023 so they are STICK-y….so if you take the time to do the work, you will see the results. Take your WITH-God Vision for your life and write 3 intentions for each area of Attention- here they are again…
Faith-walk, Family, Friendship, Service, Stewardship, Wellness, Passions, Dwelling.
Now before you get overwhelmed and do the math to realize that 8 areas times 3 intentions equals 24 goals, let me give you a few pointers.
Don’t overthink it. Set aside a timeblock when you’ll be undistracted and set yourself a 5 min timer for each area. What 3 goals come to mind? What are 3 things you know would move you closer to who God wants you to be or what He wants you to do in that area? Chances are, they are goals you started but dropped in years past or something you keep saying someday you’ll do. Or maybe they are new things you’ve never even considered before. Write them down, even if they’re not perfectly STICKY…yet. And if you can only come up with 1 or 2 in an area, leave blank spots for the rest and put it out where you’ll see it. I often find it’s the times I don’t have a pencil in hand that I come up with my best ideas, so just add them later. And making them STICK-y may take you a few tries…that’s ok too. This is a learning process my friend.
And most importantly, pray. Ask God to direct your thoughts to the goals and intentions that will grow you into who He is calling you to be. And remember if you’re making these WITH-God Goals, you won’t be doing it alone…and He is way more than enough to do it.
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD. Trust in Him and He will act.” Psalm 37:4-5
Speaking of praying, may I pray for you?
Dear God- thank you for this precious woman who truly desired to delight herself in you so that her heart is in alignment with yours. By your Spirit, give her some holy downloads about what goals will move her towards the vision she has created with You. May she truly commit these goals to you as her Lord and trust fully in you, knowing that You will act and be with her every step of the way. We cannot wait to see what bigger things you have for us in 2023 when we set our goals and intentions WITH You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Friend, I can’t wait to hear your 3 goals/intentions in each area. In fact, I’ve cleared out some space on my calendar this month to help you not only set your 2023 goals, but to make sure they STICK. Grab a 15 min strategy session as my gift to you and let’s chat! You can go to redeemhertime.com/call
And don’t forget, I mentioned last weed that you can now leave me a voice message over on my website, so feel free to share a goal there and we’ll work together to make it STICK-y. Of course I’ll drop all the links in the show notes.
Thanks for joining me for this episode and until next time, remember…
You DO have ALL the time you need to do ALL He has called you to…focus on who + what matters most to Redeem your Time…cuz you are here for Such a Time as This.
Want More of REDEEM Her Time™?
Come join us inside the REDEEM Her Time™ Membership Community where we’re working on making our WITH-God goals STICK-y together. Learn more at redeemhertime.com/join
And if you want me to give your goals personal attention, schedule your free 15 min Life-Shaping Strategy Session and let’s chat. Book yours at redeemhertime.com/call
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